MONSTER FOR SALE

 We've recently seen the Virgin Mary grilled-cheese sandwich, spoonfuls of water from a styrofoam cup Elvis supposedly drank from, and a haunted cane being sold on eBay. But the creativity of eBay sellers seems boundless: Now a Philadelphia mother is offering the monster under her daughter's bed to the highest bidder.

The sale items are a drawing of the monster, as well as the creepy critter itself, which is now trapped in a clear Ziploc bag, cushioned with a piece of soft cloth. Kathleen Tait, the inventive mom, said the problem started months ago, when her daughter would wake up horrified in the middle of the night, saying the monster messed up her room and tried to eat her toys.

"I promised her that I would catch him and my trap would get him out of our home forever," writes Tait on her eBay seller page. "My daughter being as sweet as she is, didn't want him going out in the cold all alone, so we decided together, after he was caught, we'd find him a good home to go to."

How to catch a monster? With a trail of bread crumbs leading to a bag filled with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... wait until the creature is sufficiently stuffed and lethargic, and snap the bag shut. According to Tait, "now that he's full and has no one to terrorize in there, he's fast asleep."

Last time we looked, the monster bids have already reached $225.00. However, buyers beware. A warning from expert mom: "Don't bid if you are not ready for the responsibility (extra messes, missing clothes/toys, and more than enough 'bumps in the night' to keep you awake."

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"We don't discuss that capability. I can't tell you why we don't discuss it because then I'd be discussing it."

--Peter Williams, a Defense Department spokesman on the use of missiles in the Persian Gulf War.

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Posted 03-21-2005 5:19 PM by Doug Casey